Just another Midnight

All four kids are in bed asleep.  What to do? What to do?  Laundry?  Clean the kitchen?  Clean, clean, clean and clean some more?  No.  Even though I have a laundry list of stuff to do, I can't.  I've been cleaning and taking care of four kids all day and I'm too tired to do it half the night, too.  I need time to sit down and relax and often my time sitting down is spent on the computer (no, not just on facebook!) working on my photography - reading guides and tutorials, editing photos or working on my website.  There is so much to do that I feel like I can NEVER get caught up... EVER. 

Some days its really frustrating especially when I visit someone else and their house is all neat and clean. I come home and look around and think am I the only one who can't get my crap together.  How do people do it?  I just don't know how people do it...especially people who work full time.  Do they ever sleep??

Seriously, I'm hoping this is just a phase of my life.  Someday, my daughter is not going to rip all of her clothes out of her drawers just to get dressed in the morning... or the afternoon... or get her jammies on.  Someday, they're not going to leave their toys laying around for me to tell them twenty times to clean them up.  Someday, they'll get showered, dressed and brush their own teeth.  Someday, we'll have a class room so there won't be school stuff all over the kitchen table.  Someday, things will be different.  That's what I keep telling myself anyway....

Then I remind myself that I have four beautiful, healthy kids.  I woke up this morning with so much to be grateful for.  I can't let things like a messy house or a temper tantrum ruin my day.  I am so blessed to have a husband that loves me and works hard for our family.  I am so blessed to have healthy children and to be able to spend my days with them.  For the most part, I do what I want to do when I want to do it.  Sometimes its harder with little ones but they won't be little forever and from what I've experienced so far it doesn't get easier when they get older - it just gets different.  The best way I've heard it described is it goes from being physically demanding to mentally demanding.  No one said being a parent was easy.  And it's not!  It's what I wanted and its what I still want.  I wouldn't give up any of my children for anything in this world.  I think sometimes its easy to get wrapped up in the day to day drama of life and forget about the big picture.  I want to be a mom.  That's what God called me to do.  I can feel it in my bones.  Thankfully, he didn't expect me to do it alone.