Another Trip to MI and Working In the Yard

We traveled to MI today so that we can be here to celebrate Kaden's second birthday. He loves to play with the boys. He doesn't get to spend much time around other kids. We ended up getting here later than I would have liked because I didn't get moving fast enough this morning. There were so many things that I wanted to get done! I've been working on the yard and garden. There are so many things that I want to do out there but I don't think that I have the time or space to do them. Not to mention the energy to keep up with it all. I finally went and bought some perennial flowers to plant in the yard. I really like to have flowers to look at. The only flowers that I had were the tulips and daffodils that came up in the spring and the azaleas, lilacs and apple tree that bloomed in the spring. I like to have flowers to look at. At least so far all of the ones that I have planted come back each year. Some of them want me to dig up the bulbs each fall. I'm not looking forward to that!

Lord, Help Me Say Goodbye

by Bobi Biederman 1/01

Lord, help me say goodbye to someone I've never met.
Lord, help me say goodbye to someone I'll never forget.

Without a name, without a face -
I know she's in a better place.

Lord, Help Me Say Goodbye to Someone I've Never Met... Again

When I was 5 weeks 4 days pregnant, I went to the OB's office for an ultrasound because of light bleeding. They couldn't see much but drew some blood to test for pregnancy hormones. My hcg was 7000+ and my progestrone was 16 so my doctor said there was an 89% chance the pregnancy would "continue." The following week I went for another ultrasound where I could see the baby, see and hear the heartbeating, everything was great. The baby measured 6 wks 4 days. That day the bleeding got heavier so I called the next morning and they asked me to come in for a repeat ultrasound. The baby measured 6 wks 5 days, was doing great but my doctor told me that I had some blood clotting where the baby was trying to implant in my uterus and that it may kill the pregnancy. She had me come in on Thursday for another ultrasound which is when I saw the little baby with no heart beat. I was in shock. I really thought that everything was going to be ok. The doctor asked me if I wanted a D & C but I definitely did not. I had another ultrasound on Friday to make sure but it also revealed no heart beat. I was able to pass the baby on my own at home during the night while the boys were asleep. We planted a Snow Fountain Weeping Cherry Tree in the front yard in memory of our little Angel that is waiting for us in Heaven. I can't explain why this happened again, but I know that God has a plan for us and all we can do is trust in Him.

We're pregnant with #3!

Thursday, April 23rd around 10:00 p.m. I took a pregnancy test. It was positive! Our due date is 1/1/10. I am so excited! David is excited in his own way, but he doesn't really get into it until he can actually "see" the pregnancy and baby (ultrasound). Our first doctor's apt. is May 11th at 1:45 with Dr. Ekman. So far everything seems to be going great. My stomach gets a little queasy after I eat and I've been more tired than usual, but thats about it... Ok, I've been a little extra cranky lately, too. :)

Brandon is so cute! Yesterday David had to work late and Xander was napping, so Brandon and I made hot dogs and corn on the cob for dinner on the grill together. He ate a hot dog with half the ww bun and two ears of corn! That is A LOT for him. I asked him: "Did you enjoy your dinner? You have a full belly?" He said, "Yeah, and I got a baby in my belly!" LOL

I've been trying to give Xander a haircut, but I don't want to just shave his head so I've been trying to cut it with scissors. He is not patient, so far we've had three cutting sessions and it's still not done! I've thought about trying to cut it in his sleep...

Brandon is becoming more and more independent. He has been going pee by himself for awhile, which is awesome! I'm so proud of him. Xander is becoming interested in potty training already, probably from watching Brandon. I'm hoping to have him potty trained before the baby comes, but I'm a little concerned that because it was so easy with Brandon it will be a nightmare with Xander. They really are opposites!

We made it to April!

The weather is finally getting nicer so we can get out there and stretch our legs! I've been working on the yard a lot but haven't been for a walk yet. Today it's raining, but yesterday it was gorgeous and we spent most of it outside!

Xander is saying so many more words and starting to put them together. It's so cute. He likes to watch the kitties that run around outside. His new thing is "kitty hide car." He's such a lover! He is all about the squirrels, birds, cats and dogs. Sometimes it makes me feel bad that we don't have any pets of our own. Not even the fish! (He died... RIP George.) There is this squirrel that our neighbors have been feeding for years that comes over and lets us feed him. He will practically come up and take the food out of your hand! He would come in the house if I let him :) He loves peanut butter sandwiches, or just wheat bread for that matter and the boys love to feed him and watch him eat. The other day I was looking out the front window and I saw a squirrel laying in the street. My heart sank. I ran out the door and sure enough the squirrel had been hit by a car and was dead in the street right in front of our house! About five feet away lay a partially eaten peanut butter sandwich!! My neighbor helped me move him out of the street. (I didn't want the boys to see it!) We thought that it was our little squirrel but thank God, he showed up the next day looking for a sandwich! As I was watching my neighbor shovel this poor little squirrel's body off the road, I thought to myself - this is why I don't want any pets!!!

Brandon has been a big wimp lately. Yesterday we went to the park, Brandon would cry and whine if he bumped his head or the kids wouldn't let him throw rocks in the pond. Little Xander was getting into all kinds of trouble. First I saw him dangling from a bar about two feet or so from the ground and I started running to get him. He let go and fell to the ground before I could even get close. He didn't see me. He just got up and started heading over to do something else. He started playing in this little ditch full of water with some other little kids and got his shoes and bottom of his pants all wet. I finally got him away from there and he came over to the pond where the other kids were playing. I went to through something away and I heard some kid yell "somebody fell in the pond!" I knew it was Xander!! I just dropped everything and ran as fast as I could to get him. Another mom pulled him out. He was soaked from head to toe and crying. Poor guy. He stunk, too! I had to strip him down and wipe him with wipes. I changed his diaper and put one of Brandon's shirts on him. (He was wearing two.) I didn't have any changes of clothes with me. Luckily though it was about 70 degrees out and he was fine for the rest of the time we were there. From now on I'm packing extra clothes and not going to parks with ponds!

We were going out to eat with our FLOCKS group from church the other night and David said to Brandon "Some of your friends from church will be there." Brandon said, "and Jesus?" Too cute! "Jesus will be there too."

Brandon's been riding his big boy bike with the training wheels. At Grama's house he rode to the stop sign and back. I move the car so he can ride in the driveway here, but I should let him ride in the street and walk with him so he can actually ride. Xander doesn't quite have the hang of the tricycle yet, but I'm sure he will soon and they can ride their bikes together.

Xander

Xander is slowly growing into a little boy even though I still like to think of him as my baby. :) He's going to be 20 months old on Sunday. He's learning to put two words together. He says "Daddy home!" He gets so excited when he hears David getting home. The look on his face is so precious! His hair is getting long but I don't want to cut it! It's so cute. I so regretted cutting it the first time. He's done with nursing now but he is hooked on his "bubbas." He doesn't eat much but he loves to drink his milk. For a long time he had trouble throwing up. After lots of tests, we were told that he has allergies and now he's on Zyrtec (1/2 tsp. at night before bed.)

He says "Mommy, Daddy, Baby, bubba, and more" very well, but he hasn't been talking as much as he used to. Sometimes he really wants to tell you something and he'll start babbling away all serious but you can't understand anything that he says! Brandon has been talking a lot for him which I think is slowing down his speech. He loves to put lotion on and play trucks, puppets and trains with his brother. They are so cute! They will play by themselves for longer periods of time now. I can hear Brandon talking to Xander. He'll say things like "You wanna play trains with me, Xander? Here you go." Xander's my little "daddy." He likes to carry around his babies and stuffed animals. He'll hug on them and push them in a stroller. He's very cuddly and loves to give kisses. He loves animals. He knows a lot of animal sounds: cow, kitty, dog, bird, monkey, tiger, dinosaur, etc.

The Will

David and I are in the process of writing our Will. We know it needs to be done and once it is we will have peace of mind, but it's really tough to think about your childrens' lives if you were to die. There's so many things that I would want them to know if anything were to happen to me. I wouldn't even know where to begin. Death is very scary to me. I'm trying to get over my fear but I think it's gotten worse since I've had my own children.